The Only Political Party

Hi hi. So, wow, politics! Apparently that’s a thing. But really, here’s what’s up:

In the USA, there is only one major political party. It is called the Money And War Party. It has two faces: the Angry Party and the Sympathy Party. Both of these are really just ways of making the Money And War Party appeal to different sorts of people.

These parties both have some good people in them. They have some bad people in them. Very little of this gets communicated, though, because the USA also has two other things: The Angry People News Companies and the Smiles and Lies News Companies.

The Angry People News Companies are angry! They are so angry that the Sympathy Party is being sympathetic! How pathetic and ineffective those sympathy people are! Everybody and everything sucks and everything about the government is bad! Grrr, anger!

The Smiles and Lies News Companies are so upset that everybody else is lying! They’re liars! Look at what terrible people everybody else are! The world is a dangerous place! It’s really scary and we should feel bad for how terrible everything is for people. Isn’t it so sad and weird that the Angry Party is angry? And that they are lying? Probably we should feel nervous about the world. The Sympathy Party is all right, though, because they feel bad for people who are in bad situations! And the world is full of people in bad situations! Here are some pictures of people from the Sympathy Party smiling. Doesn’t that make you feel less nervous now?

And then you pit those two factions against each other, and it really looks like there’s a wide choice! Wow, such difference! Do I want to be Angry About The Government or do I want to Help People In Need? Weirdly, those emotional messages seem to reach a pretty good number of the voting population (though I don’t think they really have mass appeal, given usual voter turnout).

But then what really happens is that you elect them and they spend money and wage war. But even that is hard to see because the Angry People News tells you that they are waging war and NOT spending money and the news companies that support the Sympathy Party tell you that they are NOT waging war but that they are spending money. In addition to telling you lots of other irrelevant information.

So, since we’re all talking politics ANYWAY, apparently, and no matter how many times I click “Hide” on the total BS that the Angry People News and Smiles And Lies News writes, the articles keep popping up here and there in my news feed, I figured I might as well start talking about politics too!

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